mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
