I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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