Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
