office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
