Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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