Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
