Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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