you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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