omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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