Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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