My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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