i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
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Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
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I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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