Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
