You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
