yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
