you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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