i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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