Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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