i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
