Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
