I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
