You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
