you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
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We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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