Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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