what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
