is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
