I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
