when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
