how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
