You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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