accomplished twins. life is a go
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
