She is in my trunk
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
