Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
