I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
