From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
