who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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