You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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