Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
