Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
