I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
