I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
