I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
