just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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