Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
