i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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