I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize