The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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