mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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