i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
