are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
