What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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