Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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