Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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