She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
