i just wanna soil my oats bro
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
