is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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