I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
