Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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