I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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