If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Congratulations! We have a period
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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