Old men and throwing up are my life now.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
