How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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