Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
