Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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