one two three fourrrrnication!
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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