yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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