and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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